Arsenal finally spend big

kevin-holdridge-arsenalFollowing Arsene Wenger’s declaration that the issue facing Arsenal is only one of quantity in the squad, not quality, I’m pleased to announce my signing for a club record low fee of £204.07.

In a statement about the signing, Wenger said “As you know, we have been monitoring every single player in the world 24/7 but have not been able to find anyone with any talent available within our £120 million budget. So we have had to little bit widen our net.

Our chief negotiator Dick Law had a go on Google and found this picture of a guy who obviously already owned a kit, though admittedly from 1971. so we were decisive and made the deal.

I know he doesn’t have any footballing ability and, at age of 50, is a little bit old and unfit. Certainly he will play with the handbrake on little bit. But,  that won’t matter. Like most of the team, I will make him play out of position. What is important is to be mentally strong. And anyway, I can blame the referee if we are unlucky and it doesn’t work out.”

“Ivan Gazidis and I are very excited. It is like a new signing“.

 

arsenal cheque

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